Tuesday, September 2, 2008

In RXN to... "Chicken and Waffles"

Chicken and Waffles

Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. You are a racist. Your Shakespeare quote had the word "shadow" in it just before you mentioned that you hung out with your "black friends." And you didn't address the quote in any other way. Are we all just supposed to know you were referring to Sir William's quote on the diametrically stirring and yet inconsequential nature of storytelling and theatrical arts? Do you think everybody knows Shakespeare inside and out?You don't even yourself! You just know that quote because Joe Hamp wrote it into a sketch you were in. I'm just saying, choose your words, baby. Choose them wisely.

It's great that you're eating new foods. You don't eat anything new, ever. I had to struggle to get you try papaya. And that's just a fruit! Were you trying to prove how open-minded you are since chicken and waffles are generally accepted to be an African-American food? Look at me, I can eat "your people's" food? Papaya has a "you people" associated with it too, you know. Maybe you should get some Caribbean friends.

Softcore porn was on in the Jumbo Slice because drunk people see it and leave after eating a slice saying to everybody as they pass "There's porn on in Jumbo Slice!" Drunk people cannot keep their mouths shut. Hell, you went home and blogged about it. What I'm saying is, free advertising!

By the way, that movie starring Ice-T and featuring a scene with chicken and waffles was the 1999 straight-to-video "Judgement Day" starring Mario Van Peebles, not starring a plate of chicken. Know your facts, boyfriend, or at least know your IMDb. You're always so proud with how much you know about movies, but you couldn't even look that up? You're so lazy, but it's okay because...

You're my adorable, lovable Boyfriend. Kisses on you!

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